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Nerve and shyness

There is a nerve in a positive sense, which may be called more accurately, and nerve in a negative sense - which is nothing else than a lack of consideration for others.

My sisters Yael and Ariella have a positive nerve. Yael, whose hobby is genealogy, did not hesitate to turn to the Red Cross to help her locate a relative of us, who died a century ago.

As for Ariella, she was looking for an original recording of "The little butterfly and the Rose", a story we loved to hear when we were kids. After dozens of inquiries, her efforts bore fruit, and she found a collector who had it. And what were all these efforts for? To make the heart of her brother happy, that is me. 😊

My father, on the other hand, was shy. He would lose his temper completely when he had to speak in front of an audience. For instance, he would go with my mother to parties to find new customers. On these occasions, he would turn to her and say to her: " Befriend these people!". My mother, who did not have this problem, would indeed create a relationship. Once the connection was made, it was already up to Dad and his talent to make it a fruitful business. Mom would tell him, "I'm your foreign minister."

As for me, the heredity passed to me from the father’s side. I was even much shyer than my dad. I had an inferiority complex when I was talking to people in my position or higher, and a superiority complex when I was talking to simple people. The situation has improved lately: I have gained self-confidence, and I see myself " as one like everyone else" and not "one different from everyone else". (As evidence of what I wrote on the subject in the posts "I and my place in the world" and "What made me stop behaving strangely in society?").

Today in my club, I happen to meet people from all over the social scale, and it seems to me that I am doing well. A friend even recently invited me from the choir where I sing for a luxury party (A villa with a private pool, more than fifty guests from the high society).

At the party, I sat down in front of a couple I did not know. The man told me (modestly and humbly) that he was a senior lawyer (advising a minister, something like that). I was not ashamed because I came from the assumption that each has something to bring that the other does not have in an encounter between two people.

I told him about an attempted fraud that I had fallen victim to, in which I forced the crook to return my money to me, without the need for a lawyer. Simply because I made such a big noise around all of his clients that the prosecution opened an investigation against him for using fake titles, false advertisement fraud, and so on. I felt this story interested the respected lawyer.

I came back from the party and talked to a more "simple" man: a young taxi driver. During the conversation, I learned that he was single and that he was looking for a wife. I talked about myself about love disappointments, the marriage trap, and how to avoid it. When you have no problem talking at eye level with a street cleaner, you also do not have to talk to a prime minister.

Another point to think about: You can be humble without being insecure!

My insecurity stemmed from the fact that I was sure I was different and weird, and that was why people laughed at me and hated me. If you, the reader, are shy and identify a little with these things, I suggest you read the post: "What made me stop behaving strangely in society?".

Contrary to what one might think, a rude or arrogant person is not one who is endowed with self-confidence; on the contrary! If he had self-confidence, he would not aggressively talk to others and tolerate those who seemed weaker than him, like someone shy, for example. On the other hand, he would not be submissive to those who are stronger than him or those who are even more arrogant than him.

I can give you an example that I was timid in front of my third officer and my sergeant major, who were nothing but miserable in my eyes.

I can give you a counter-example that I was received once by a professor of orthopedic, a leader in his field. Well, he and his wife, also a senior doctor, hosted me at their home (they were good friends of my parents), listened to me, pampered me, gave me the feeling that they appreciated me, and I know that their appreciation was honest.

To sum up:

I told you in this post that I used to be very shy. I am less shy since my perspective on society has changed. (See post: "I and my local in the world"). However, I'm still a little shy. And you know what? It's not bad to be a little shy: it also shows modesty and humility. And it is better in any case for insolence and impudence.

I would love to hear from you in the comments or a personal message.

- Do you also suffer from shyness?

- In which cases?

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