In this post, I want to talk about uniqueness. In the first part of the post, I'll define what I mean by uniqueness. In the second part, I'll discuss the subject itself: how a person, in my opinion, should relate to his uniqueness, in order not to suffer with it, and why it is desirable that he tolerantly accept the uniqueness of others. I'll refer to my uniqueness: how I live with it.
What do I mean by uniqueness?
By uniqueness, I mean the set of characteristics of a person that make him different from the others.
Examples: Men and women, blacks and whites, Ashkenazis and members of the Eastern community, intellectuals and ordinary people, loving life and depressed, leftists and rightists, gluttons and anorexics, etc. In each of these categories, there are moderates, and there are extremists.
How do I live with my uniqueness, and how do I cope with the uniqueness of others?
Like everyone else, I have characteristics, some of which are congenital, and some of which, life has done: 90 kg, 1.78 m, software engineer, etc. I live quite well with some of these characteristics. And with some of them, as with a mental illness, I have to cope with. For example, I am indifferent to the struggle between the Ashkenazis and members of the Eastern community for one simple reason: I was born to an Ashkenazi father and a Sephardic mother (so-called half couscous, half "wus-wus"). As for being Jewish, I never really suffered from anti-Semitism.
But I, who used to laugh at my late grandfather when he was standing still like a missile when he heard the Marseillaise, France's anthem - I had to immigrate to Israel to be stuck the extra-label: "French". There were times when I was very offended when they called me "French". I would take solace in the fact that those who would say it were retarded: if I speak with a French accent, it is because I was born in France, just as I would have a Vietnamese accent if I were born in Vietnam. There is indeed something in what is called a French (or Israeli, or Italian character ...). But there are Frenchmen of a French racial character, those of a Sabri character, and so on.
I'm not too fond of groups waving their uniqueness flag. For example, I do not like Jews always mentioning the Holocaust: in my opinion, it strengthens the potential anti-Semitism of the average gentile more than it helps to remember its victims. As for the feminist demonstrations and the LGBTs, they may be needed to get the rights they deserve, but I do not feel comfortable with them. Do not get me wrong! As I said about the Jews and the Holocaust, it is their best interest against homophobes not to make a fuss about it.
By the way, I have noticed that the people who engrave their identity on their flag are the most intolerant of others' uniqueness.
As for my relationships with others, I accept others when they are similar to me, and when they are different from me, I try to understand them; I imagine what I would think if I were in their place. This does not at all mean being naive and accepting anything, even if it is extreme. But to be empathetic and by doing so: to receive sympathetic treatment from the one who is different from me at best, and at worst - to come out spaced from the fact that I understand the other better, and by that, I am better armed to fight against him.
As for myself, I do not wave my uniqueness as a flag. I only accept it when I live well with it, and it seems to be a part of me. And I try to modify it when I have a problem with it, and it seems to me that I can change it. I will not repeat things I have already said, for example, in posts: "I and my place in the world" and "What made me stop behaving strangely in society?", But the lesson I learned from it, and it is true in my opinion to all our uniqueness is this:
It is said that education, is what you have left after you have forgotten everything. Similarly, your uniqueness is valued by others, when it is the one left after you have done everything not to highlight it.
I would love to read your comments:
- What is your uniqueness?
- Which one is easy or difficult for you to cope with it?
- How do you cope with it?