Can we change without the help of others?

Below is a quote from Aldous Huxley, which was reported by an Internet user, and my reaction to this quote.


There is only one part of the universe that we can definitely change: ourselves.

Aldous Huxley


Is it true that we can change ourselves without the help of others?

It's not that simple. And I know something about that as someone who got rid of his shyness after having done a lot of work on himself. Everyone obviously wants to have more confidence, more self-esteem, less shyness and understand himself better, that's not the question. The problem is that when we think about these questions on our own, we first come to wrong conclusions, which lead us to make bad decisions, bad resolutions and our problems only get worse. We cannot reinvent the wheel alone. We need the others and their experience. Why then you might ask me, don't we talk about all this to the others? Well, because it is not simple at all! Many people will laugh at you and take advantage of your weakness when you have dared to tell them sincerely about yourself. They will often do this out of fear that you will discover their own weaknesses. (They don't imagine you're human beings like them, just as you didn't imagine they were people just like you, you get the gist?)

The solution, (because there is still one!), is to talk to others about it, but to start with those who love us and whom we trust. (Who would dare to talk about his setbacks in society, or worse: his sex life, to strangers.) I would like to warn you against another danger which you will have to face, and which will seem paradoxical to you, it is that to talk about our problems ONLY to people who love and trust us, for example, our best friend. What you risk is to come across people who will give you, despite all their benevolence and sincerity, bad solutions that they have come up with. (What do you want, they too are only human beings!).

You have to go slowly. Gradually, you will increase your self-confidence, you will find that you will dare and be able to talk with almost everyone, just like you did with your best friend. And friends, you will make more and more. It is at this moment, but only at this moment, that the quoted sentence will become true: “There is only one part of the universe that we can change in a certain way: ourselves.” A man can be his best doctor, but before he gets there, he has to go through periods when he has been his worst doctor: when he put wrong ideas to his head, and consequently find bad remedies such as adapting an inappropriate behavior, when it is not taking drugs, and even going as far as suicide.


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