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Someone like everyone else

Here is a question that was asked on a Facebook group dedicated to shyness, and my answer to this question.

An internaut

Hello, I am asking myself a question: when I meet some people I know in the corridors of my work they bow their heads. What would that mean because I have the impression that it is because they are uncomfortable? Or maybe I'm asking myself too many questions?

Yossi Patt

I want to share with you my experience as a former shy person.

For decades, I have lived with the feeling that there were two types of people on earth, and only two:

1) "THE OTHERS", who were a sort of mafia, who were all "friends" among themselves, and who had decided one fine day to gang up on me.


2) ME!!!

Today I understand the absurdity of this feeling, which is, I believe, that of many shy people:

- First of all, the others are (alas, alas!) not always "friends" among themselves. There are sometimes rivalries between them that we know.

- Then the others have something else to do than ganging up on me. On the other hand, it is true that if they notice that I put them all on a pedestal, they will take the opportunity to put me down further.

- But, last but not least, I am not different from the others as I imagined. For the cashier at the supermarket, who did not know me, I was very similar, to the one before me and the one who followed me.

I took a HUGE STEP the day I understood this.

In retrospect, when I remember certain situations, in which I was intimidated by others as usual, I realize that sometimes it was me (yes, yes, that surprises you eh ?!) that intimidated others.

To answer your questions:

- It is quite possible that you make people uncomfortable, perhaps because of a distant attitude, due to your shyness.

- It's not that you ask yourself too many questions, it's that you ask yourself bad questions. "How do you change this attitude and no longer make them uncomfortable, but on the contrary, show them that you respect them and consider them as friends?" This is a good question that you could ask yourself, and find a good answer there.

I hope I helped you.

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