I noticed the following:
- When we are convinced (wrongly in my opinion) that we are fundamentally different from others, we try to imitate them to gain their esteem. In doing so, we make ourselves ridiculous. People laugh at us. We do not understand and we deduce (again wrongly) that we are decidedly not like everyone else and we decide to shut up once and for all (which definitely makes us classify as shy), and to take the "good” resolution to imitate them better the next time, which makes us commit new blunders. It's a vicious circle.
- On the other hand, sometimes we get so desperate that we dare to confess something to others, being sure this time that others will laugh at us. But this time, to our amazement, we gain the sympathy of others.
To sum up: when you are shy, and you try to please others, they don't like you. Whereas the very rare times you present ourselves as you are, they do.
Does that seem paradoxical to you? Will you tell me that you don’t understand any of it? Well not at all, it’s very simple! When you try to imitate others, you go straight to failure. And you go straight to success when you DARE TO BE YOURSELF (while listening to others and paying attention to their sensitivity). For small things as for big ones. And this time it's a virtuous circle. Each time we do this, the society rewards us with its reaction, we gain self-confidence, which encourages us to repeat the experience.