I am 63 years old, a computer engineer by profession, and I have always wondered about the meaning of life.

 

Since 2005, I have not worked due to mental illness. Until about a year ago, I divided most of my time between doctor's visits, TV, and… my bed.

 

This year I have become more active. I take philosophy classes, sing in a choir, and started writing this blog.

 

I will tell you here about my struggle with illness and the difficulties of life in general.

 

Some biographical information about me:

 

I was born in Paris in 1956 under the name Frank Lopatnik.

When I was 12, I immigrated to Israel and changed my name to Yossi Patt.

When I was 26, after graduating from Computer Science at the Technion, I left for Paris. I worked there in my profession and got married. After a year and a half, I got divorced.

When I was 32, I returned to Israel and continued to work in my profession, and then, I went on early retirement at the age of 48.

 

It is crazy audacity to expose myself under my real name, throwing medical secrecy to all devils.

 

So why am I publishing this diary?

 

• For myself

 

The journal allows me to put on paper things that have been running through my head for a few days and sometimes for decades. However, if you write your journal just for yourself, you write nonsense very quickly because you ignore other people's scrutinizing eyes.

 

• For the others

 

I think _ perhaps naively, perhaps brazenly, but in my opinion with common sense _ that if I'm interested in it, there is a good chance others will be interested in it. Those who have to face or those interested in mental illness, but I believe that anyone interested in philosophical questions about life will find it of interest.

 

I would be happy to hear from you!